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Mám otrasné obdobie. Fakt. Nechce sa mi o tom ani rozprávať, všetko je proste napiču. Dokonca ani nevládzem písať v milovanej angličtine, pretože síce rada používam tieto chutné cudzie slovíčka (viď vulgarizmy, áno, som tým povestná) a niekedy sa im snažím dať rôzne prízvuky, na ktoré si ešte spomínam z UK od mojich milovaných aj nenávidených ľudí, ale nič nie je lepšie, ako riadne si zanadávať v rodnom jazyku.
Zase sa raz flákam po nociach ako taký chumaj alebo naopak, snažím sa zahrabať pod zem, krčím sa v izbe, pokúšam sa nájsť aspoň chvíľočku skutočného súkromia. Som podráždená, nahnevaná, vybíjam si zlosť na ľuďoch, ktorí s mojimi stavmi nemajú nič spoločné a zároveň aj na tých, ktorí majú. Nech..
Nečudovala by som sa, keby sa mňa všetci vyserú. Vlastne ja sa niekedy čudujem, že sa so mnou niekto baví aj pri mojich relatívne dobrých náladách. Hej, denne si v duchu poviem asi miliónkrát "ja som taká piča", no keď mi to niekto povie do očí, mam chuť ho kopnúť do tváre.
Ľudia si ma buď idealizujú alebo si o mne myslia len to najhoršie. Zas tá čierna a biela. Čo mám na to povedať okrem choďte do piče..? :D Hej, už sa smejem.
Rada by som opísala moje myšlienky z posledných dvoch mesiacov, no vždy keď sa nad tým hlbšie zamyslím, v hlave mám len vzduchoprázdno a som vygumovaná ako plátno predo mnou. Niežeby som nemala nápady, tých mám dosť, ale neviem ich zrealizovať, nie som spokojná asi s ničím. Predstava a realita sú dve odlišné veci. To sa týka aj života...
Áno, priznám sa, očakávam vždy to najhoršie - zradu, klamstvo, ba aj horšie veci. Kurva, nečudovali by ste sa, keby ste aspoň trochu videli do mojej dutej gebule.
Paradoxne premýšľam veľa. Ako povedal asi každý môj ex a aj niektorí blízki priatelia, niekedy premýšľam nad vecami až príliš a potom sa stávam paranoidnou a otravnou pre celé svoje okolie. Nenávidím tie stavy... Viem, že momentálne sa správam veľmi hlúpo. Buď sa škerím ako debil alebo presný opak, keď si uvedomím, že to je všetko klam. Nie, ojeb to je... Trápny, odporný, nechutný ojeb. Minule som sa musela prefackať. V poslednom čase sa fackám často. Už v podstate ani nemusím, niektoré veci dokážu zasiahnuť viac ako akákoľvek facka.
Pomaly sa zobúdzam, no stále som v štádiu čumenia do steny, počúvaní pravdivej hudby a snahy utopiť sa v sprche... jesus fucking christ... klesám na dno patetickosti. Not my style.What the hell is wrong with me...
Momentálne ma aj tak najviac serie to, že sa dejú dosť vážne veci v rodine..a ja prepínam medzi flegmatickosťou a staraním sa. A klamem, nie je to vec, čo ma serie najviac...a je to..divné a hanbím sa za to. A popravde, to ma najviac dojebáva.

Istrocon 2013

I am back from Istrocon/ Comic Salon. So I'm going to summarise my feelings about it a bit. Just because I can.

At first I must say that day (better said night) before the convention I hurt my foot, I couldn't walk and that day I even had to work, so I was fucking stressed... I finished my costumes on time (except Mystique which I didn't give a shit about), I was going to sleep at another place..I was looking forward to it too much. And every time I'm too excited for something, some bad thing happens... So higheels were out, I didn't know if the foot was broken or not, to be honest, it really did hurt like hell, but I said to myself, fuck that shit, I'm not going to the hospital, if my little finger was broken they would only say don't move it and if it was something more serious they would put a splint on it and I couldn't have moved at all...So no doctors, we're going on the con. And I added on of the most hated word after it: YOLO XDDD

I wanted to pack three costumes. Ironically I wore only two of them and the one I was working on the most stayed in the trunk coz the last day I've decided to repeat my cosplay from friday - Elisabeth from Bioshock Infinite. And I must say that I enjoyed wearing it a lot. I love the character although it is cosplayed A LOT. I was expecting another Elizabeths there so I was surprised that I was the only one. I was really happy to cosplay her, it's kind of my favourite cosplay right now. The only thing I hated about it was the wig, because I didn't have money to buy a proper one ;__;
I also had Booker thanks to my very good friend Radko ;) As we say, he was totally FABIBI. Even the style really did fit him (his gf is trying to persuade him to dress like it more often :D) I couldn't thank him enough, it meant so much to me... the best Booker ever.

Btw, later I realised that Elizabeth and I have something more in common..our little fingers :"D

Saturday was...well...I don't know how to start. My Mystique costume was probably the crappiest costume I ever made. And I couldn't wear my highheels for it because of my foot. My face paint was a total shit..really...fucking ebay... :"D 

Nevermind, I put it on in the morning as well as my friends and we were expecting others to come. But of course, the leader of our cosplay group came in the morning in his normal clothes and when I asked him, where was his costume, he said: "I couldn't fit in it." So we were left alone, four people... and there were 11 of us in the beggining... So I totally resigned, not taking anything seriously. To be honest, because of that the costume started to repell me, I couldn't wait to take it off. But we made to the second round, I couldn't believe it, because it was nothing compared to other competitors. What surprised me the most was Miyu, the heart of the cosplay competition, and she said something really nice about my costume and it really cheered me up :)

The programme was a bit dissapointing this year, I haven't been to any prelection, and I had to skip those what sounded quite good to me. I haven't even played any games! I just didn't see anything I'd love to play.. And I couldn't dance of course... -.-

But I had more time to talk to new people, to my friends or just chill somewhere. I didn't meet everyone (didn't even see!) but what made me almost cry were my friends who came back from the UK to visit the Istrocon and I haven't seen them for a long time. It was special for me. And of course also other friends, older and new. I had a great time with them :) Even with total strangers XDDD

I love this photo :D Ignore me with a bottle please..

Working. Well, sort of...

I've been quite busy. I've started a new part-time job, the only one I could find in my city. Shitty as hell, but there's an air condition at least which means that instead of burning outside I'm freezing inside..

I still don't have all the fabrics for Elizabeth and my other cosplays so I started with the corset first (so I wouldn't feel so terrible about my laziness). I just upgraded my old white corset altough I'm thinking about doing the thing from the scratch anyway. We'll see. It doesn't even depends on me, it depends on my financial situation.  Did I mention me being poor? *bitter laughter*

Also I'm not that excited for this cosplay anymore. Don't take me wrong, I still love Bioshock (all of the games), but the amount of Elizabeth's cosplayers is just too damn high. Which is good as most of them are amazing. On the other hand it puts me down because I know I'm no match for them so here comes he question: Why should I even try. But this question haunts me during making any cosplay, so I just ignore it most of the time. Nevermind, I want to make it, so I will. Blabbering stops now. :D

Upcoming Borderlands photoshoot?

Few months ago when we cosplayed as sirens from Borderlands for the first time, I got an offer for a photoshoot, so of course we took it. And when I befriend our photographer I knew I could look forward to it without any unnecessary stress included because I usually stress out for a whole lot minor stuff..

An idea cross my mind, to make some enemy as well. But of course, I do not have enought time so I simply decided for psycho as my brother fits this character perfectly (sometimes even mentally :D). I am still not completely sure that he will keep his word and do the photoshoot but I made a mask.

It's becoming my motto: "as cheap as possible, but still looking acceptable" >:D
Of course it doesn't always work out... I just think there must be some cheaper materials for cosplayers. When I'll get my act together and finally start working on some more difficult armor, I wil try anything possible. Or even impossible :D


The mask mentioned before.. Once again I acted quite spontaneously and didn't have even a base for it, so I made one (then I realised it was a bit bigger than I wanted..but screw it)

The base is just a fencing covered with glued newspaper. it is a simple process, I remember we used to make it even in my old art school.

 I forget to take photos during the whole process. As always... *headdesk*

Some people asked me what I used on it to get the "right curves" :D The answer is toilet paper soaked in a glue (I use duvilax for paper). So it sounds really strange when someone asks me what it is made of... And of course later on I used also clay to get a smoother look. But if were using clay only, it would be a lot heavier. 

It's quite visible where I used the clay and where not. Even though I didn't want the mask looking exactly the same as in the game (I know I should follow the concept, but I wanted it look more realistic, more badass). That's why I didn't make it as smooth and perfect as in the game. But I think I wouldn't be able to do it that way even if I wanted...

When the base was done, I added some paint using mostly acrylic paint, shadowinf it a bit and so on...

I also glued false leather stripes on borders.

And this is it :)

I hope the photoshoot in august will be amusing :D 

Blabluble

Sometimes I think there are too many things that interest me that even a million dollars and thousand years wouldn't be enough for me to achieve half of my so called goals. And here I am, just sitting here...studying.

But even when I try, every little fucking failure can put me down and I instantly think I'm not good enough and never will be. I don't mean to complain, I don't want people to tell me the opposite or cheer me up either. I just have to get a grip of it again on my own. Because yes, as my friend reminded me yesterday, I and only I am capable of solving my problems. And at this time when I think how many problems I actually face, my depression about not having time, funds and skills for my wannabe hobbies seems rather stupid..

Maya's class mod 2

When my Borderlands cosplay partner saw my Maya's "book", she liked it and asked me to make one for her as well. And I promised I would, so I did :D

Firstly, I had to visit an antiquarian bookshop and search through the old and cheap books (0,20 Euro, hell yeah!). And I found a red one which I appreciated however there was a picture on the front cover, but luckily nothing on the back. So I had basically everything I needed. Except of a glue, which I totally forgot about.. -___-"

This is the one I have decided for, because Lilith wanted something red that would go with her hair colour (how ridiculous that is :D)

Firstly I cut the side forms from the cardboard and prepared some colourful paper.

I wrapped the form in it.

And used a ducktape on the back of it, as I didn't have a glue :"D

Tada~

I've painted the book with acrylics.

I forgot to mention, that I am fucking dumb, so I had to un-ducktape the sides to unite them with the cover.

Now to "borders"

Result:

:)

Bioshock photoshoot

We took advantage of the spring time (when it was still around 20-25°, not 30° like these days..-.-) I hate how the spring lasted for a couple of days and after the winter it is suddenly hot like hell. I hate winter and summer...I was looking forward to spring so much and there was none --

But back to our photoshoot.
Me and my cosplay buddy Lorean have decided to do some photoshoot when sakuras are still in bloom (that was the original idea altough in reality we focused on other flowers in bloom mostly :D). Ske asked me if I could take some photos of her Daenerys cosplay to which I agreed more than happily because I like taking photos but I am not that good (I warned her). But some of them came out nicely, I like how she smiled sometimes even though she is like me, grumpy like all the time.. -__-" :"D

I especially loved these ones of her:

Next day we did a shoot of my (still not finished) costume of Elizabeth from Bioshock Infinite. I am going to do the corset version of her for this years ComicSalon in september. I didn't even wanted to do the first version of her, but one day I just browsed through my closet and found a white shirt which I havent wore for a longer time so I re-sewed it and voila..:D But I haven't had any cloth left for the skirt, so that's why I wasn't quite sure about photoshoot at first. I don't like unfinished things. But then I thought, Oh, what the hell..

I was a bit happy about wearing boots but it wasn't that hot that day afterall. Also my hair didn't want to stay in a right shape -__- Yeah, it's shitty as hell. Even products wouldn't keep it at the same place. Next time I'm using only wigs...

But the shooting was fun, some of the people were looking at us of course, but I think my friend was atracting more attention the other day, so..

I like how my friend managed to take the photos, they look great, if only I was able to make my face look normal :D I look normal when I don't see the camera but the moment I know about its presence I look like an ogr. -///- Examples:

But some of them turned out really nice and it motivated to me start on DeviantArt again (here's the link to it http://sirdompayne.deviantart.com/). I had an account years ago, but I lost my password and then I didn't want to start over. But...I did. 

And after some time it reminded me why I always liked DA. Some people there are so talented and I love looking at their paintings, photos...I could spend hours browsing through..but I don't have so much time unfortunately.

And one guy mad me really happy when he edited my photo and added flying Songbird there. I was totally speechless as I didn't know him at all and he just made it because...I don't even know why. But things like these can really make my day brighter. And seeing that some people like my cosplay, my effort...it gives me so much motivation. They and my friends encourage me and inspire me to continue with it and I am grateful for it :)

And here is the pic. I love it despise the fact it has me in it :D