Maya's class mod 2

When my Borderlands cosplay partner saw my Maya's "book", she liked it and asked me to make one for her as well. And I promised I would, so I did :D

Firstly, I had to visit an antiquarian bookshop and search through the old and cheap books (0,20 Euro, hell yeah!). And I found a red one which I appreciated however there was a picture on the front cover, but luckily nothing on the back. So I had basically everything I needed. Except of a glue, which I totally forgot about.. -___-"

This is the one I have decided for, because Lilith wanted something red that would go with her hair colour (how ridiculous that is :D)

Firstly I cut the side forms from the cardboard and prepared some colourful paper.

I wrapped the form in it.

And used a ducktape on the back of it, as I didn't have a glue :"D

Tada~

I've painted the book with acrylics.

I forgot to mention, that I am fucking dumb, so I had to un-ducktape the sides to unite them with the cover.

Now to "borders"

Result:

:)

Bioshock photoshoot

We took advantage of the spring time (when it was still around 20-25°, not 30° like these days..-.-) I hate how the spring lasted for a couple of days and after the winter it is suddenly hot like hell. I hate winter and summer...I was looking forward to spring so much and there was none --

But back to our photoshoot.
Me and my cosplay buddy Lorean have decided to do some photoshoot when sakuras are still in bloom (that was the original idea altough in reality we focused on other flowers in bloom mostly :D). Ske asked me if I could take some photos of her Daenerys cosplay to which I agreed more than happily because I like taking photos but I am not that good (I warned her). But some of them came out nicely, I like how she smiled sometimes even though she is like me, grumpy like all the time.. -__-" :"D

I especially loved these ones of her:

Next day we did a shoot of my (still not finished) costume of Elizabeth from Bioshock Infinite. I am going to do the corset version of her for this years ComicSalon in september. I didn't even wanted to do the first version of her, but one day I just browsed through my closet and found a white shirt which I havent wore for a longer time so I re-sewed it and voila..:D But I haven't had any cloth left for the skirt, so that's why I wasn't quite sure about photoshoot at first. I don't like unfinished things. But then I thought, Oh, what the hell..

I was a bit happy about wearing boots but it wasn't that hot that day afterall. Also my hair didn't want to stay in a right shape -__- Yeah, it's shitty as hell. Even products wouldn't keep it at the same place. Next time I'm using only wigs...

But the shooting was fun, some of the people were looking at us of course, but I think my friend was atracting more attention the other day, so..

I like how my friend managed to take the photos, they look great, if only I was able to make my face look normal :D I look normal when I don't see the camera but the moment I know about its presence I look like an ogr. -///- Examples:

But some of them turned out really nice and it motivated to me start on DeviantArt again (here's the link to it http://sirdompayne.deviantart.com/). I had an account years ago, but I lost my password and then I didn't want to start over. But...I did. 

And after some time it reminded me why I always liked DA. Some people there are so talented and I love looking at their paintings, photos...I could spend hours browsing through..but I don't have so much time unfortunately.

And one guy mad me really happy when he edited my photo and added flying Songbird there. I was totally speechless as I didn't know him at all and he just made it because...I don't even know why. But things like these can really make my day brighter. And seeing that some people like my cosplay, my effort...it gives me so much motivation. They and my friends encourage me and inspire me to continue with it and I am grateful for it :)

And here is the pic. I love it despise the fact it has me in it :D

...

I have an urge to write something, but at the same time I lack any ideas, my motivation is gone as soon as it appears and now I have no idea what I wanted. But the urge to write down about my stupid state of mind is quite strong.
I have been feeling weird lately, emotionally weird. Is it normal to believe in something and at the same time not believing at all? No, I'm not talking about god, I am a pure atheist. I've never expected anything from life, I always wanted to "pass by" unnoticed, just to go with the flow..on the other hand I want to do something bigger, something to prove that I am not just a pathetic creature walking on the earth. I am probably schizophrenic. I want to achieve something in life. Even if it would be a great acievement only for me. For example just to survive on my own, to become fully independent. I am not that picky. I would be perfectly happy with an average life. But sometimes I think that enormous problems always search for the most irrelevant people.. Ok, I got carried away..

So...is it normal to believe and not to believe? Or when you think somebody care for you and at the same time that the person doesn't give a shit even though if he keeps claiming the opposite? I have trust issues, that is true, but this is just really confusing.. I wish I would understand one day..

Lost in the night

You are always in the spotlight even though all you want is to sink into the darkness. 

And you are always wandering in the dark when all you want is to see the light. 

Animeshow 2013 and other blabla

Even though some time passed since the Animeshow/GameExpo that took place in our capital city in march but I am still going to mention it a bit. It was a great event, I had a loads of fun with my friends, altough I wanted to be with another friends as well but as every year the time flew very quickly and at the end I was happy I could even walk without falling asleep.  

I wanted to get better some of the folks I know cassually but either I had a feeling they have no interest or I just didn’t want to bother anyone.. Or I didn’t have so much time. This is probably the thing that bugs me a little.

With amazing Toothless :3

Me and my cosplay mother had a Borderlands cosplay, me as Maya and she as Lilith. We were really happy for every praise we got, we really aprecciatted it very much. It really can make my day when someone likes my cosplay after all the work and effort I’ve put into it. It always makes me smile and warms my heart a bit.

Behind the scenes :P (I look like an idiot with the net on my head -_-)

My Lilith was kind of dissapointed when another Lilith showed up for the competition, but at the end she was satisfied, because many have told her she was better, so it did it for her. :D I don’t want to offend anyone but she was the best at least for me. J

 I personally love this one, our brofist shows that sirens are awesome! (What, are you saying something?)

Past few weeks were...well..full of different stuff. Full of bright moments and the darker ones. At the moment I don’t have the urge to cry my heart out to no one. Sometimes I just miss one particular person..

Ok, I’m not going to be gloomy.

On 26th march the new Bioshock came out. Are you as super excited as I am? I haven’t bought it yet, but I’m going shopping next week so wish me luck on some sales :“D I don’t ussualy buy new games immediatelly, because, to be fair, I am just a poor student and I really don’t have enough money on games and this stuff. But I found a cheaper way to study so instead of living in the town in which my uni is, I will be travelling there for classes. It will be cheaper and even if it might sound mad, more comfortable. I wasn’t satisfied with my sharehouse at all, nothing did work there. It was just days of pain week after week. No hot water, no internet, no light (!), no privacy, no eletricity, just a mess and dirt everywhere left by quite horrible roomates (except some of them of course).

But yeah, back to Bioshock Infinite...I’m really looking forward to play it, I’ve been waiting for it for far too long T-T. I fell in love with Elisabeth (Elizabeth) at the first sight, I’ve decided to cosplay he fot the next ComicSalon in september, so I hope I won't disappoint anyone.

Journey

This is the game of the year (at least in PS3 section) for me. Shame is I don't own PS3.. So I must just satisfy myself with an occassional playing it or just watching some walkthroughs on youtube.

First I've heard of the game when somebody mentioned it on the comment section of one of the game oriented websites and I searched for it on the youtube. And I was charmed after few minutes. The main character is some person\cat or whatever it actually is. You don't know anything about him\her and the only goal at the beggining is to get on the top of the mountain as it seems.

The game is really relaxing and you can let your mind flow along with the ornated scarf of your character as he flies above the shiny sand of the desert or through the deeps of an undeground cave. You stop by and then and listen to the story and yet you won't hear a single word the whole game, just beautiful music in the background.

As most of the people, redactors and gamers say, Journey is an artistic game oriented on visual and emotional side of the playing. Interesting is also a feature with "multiplayer". You can play the game alone or you can join another player. As far as I know, you can only travel in couples not in groups, but I think it's better this way. Your relationship seems more intense then.

Of course I've decided to make my own costume..just because I could wear it and.. run.. fly.. and feel the freedom and peace.

Frustration

He told me: "You don't have to speak with someone who doesn't respect you. Fuck them. They don't deserve your attention."

And in the end I stopped speaking to him..

There are times when you catch yourself thinking why me..I often question myself.. And then I just stop. Because there's no point in it. But I decide to do something instead. Something I might regret later, but in the moment it seems apropriate. So I left and they were staring at me with a question which didn't have enough time to come out as I shut the door. 

Those little things such as small everyday arguments, bad behaviour, disrespect and so on... they can create a huge bag of frustration which is constantly pressing into your mind, bugging you all the time and torturing you like a hopeless animal trapped in a noose in the middle of some dark forest. 

I just need some time for myself. I often dream about living alone. It would be so much easier. Relaxing. I love when I'm home alone. Or alone in the sharehouse altough I hate it. I need to feel free. I need my mind at peace and for that I need a complete absence of people.. Yes, I hate people I'm not going to lie about it.. But that's not the point of my blabbering.

I went to visit my grandma after I had a bit of an argument with parents. Even if I don't have a privacy there at least my mind can rest a bit. My grandma was very excited about her brother being in a local TV. Or he just happened to be at the right place in the right time. But honestly we didn't understand why is she overreacting, like watching it over and over again, telling everyone about it.. I mean..I'm glad that she's happy.. But it also kind of irritates me. I was working on a project for a tv..I was a part of production and I was really glad it turned out quite nice. I'm not being cocky or anything, I'm not that kind of person. I really enjoyed doing it, I loved the work in fact. Like doing scripts, imagining the scenes, making our visions come true through my lovely actors.. There's just one thing bothering me and it's that she doesn't understand it. She saw a part of it where my brother acted. "Oh, look how's he running! And where is going to be a part with you?" she asked. So I explained her sixth time that I was a production not an actress. She's not that old and she just looked dissappointed. It pisses me off actually. I should have told her "Grandma, if I didn't decide to put him there, he wouldn't be fucking running in it right now". But it's not like that.. I'm just sad she can't be proud of me in any way. Yeah, I just wanted to make her proud of her oldest grandchild. At least one of them could be a little supportive but I've chosen a way they don't understand..